of this world, and beyond

and i see the smoke fly up in the air.. lost somewhere.. and i can see it no more..
i want to touch it, and let it lie in my palm.. but it flies away..
and i wonder, i really do..
if pain could be smoke too?..

I know I don't belong here.. I know I am not upto it anymore..
and you may try as hard as you wish to.. I know I'll just land up where we all begin.. the same place where we both don't want to go back to..
smoke .. can it trample tears, can it soak smiles..

do you see the world beyond..
beyond the smoke.. .. do you?
>>>><<<<
and while i hoped you could see beyond..
if you could create a newer world..
a newer one for you and me..
you looked beyond me..
and again, everything falls back in place..



we are here to make me realise, i should give up now.
i should, i know.. because God is not testing me anymore
just giving me the signs..
for that which i don't deserve, i shall never have..
or should I differ and make Him think again.. ?

try and design destiny or change it at the least..
or should i just sit back and watch my life slip out of my hands like sand..


and my tear trickles down
falls onto the ground
and that insignificance of life,
i wonder how
drowns my smiles
soddens the sand
or maybe the life that slipped outta my hands..

and i reach out, to touch it again..
to hold it and cling it, for it is my own..
and i see you walked over it
and now, it's all gone

do you see the smoke now
for maybe that's all you would see..
for i'm gone.
i have crossed and reached the world beyond..
and may this world, this reality not touch me again..

randOmnEss..

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. "
- Mark Twain

i see the world going biserk..
an upside down world ..
we are losing each other..
we are bumping and crashing ..
there's a purpose..
just hold that thought in mind..
a purpose why we came together..
a purpose that will bring us here again..
nothing passes..
into nothingness..
it will all come back..
and someday we will smile..
even if we lost..
it will bring tears, smiles
someday we will smile
because we tried
because moments stay in memory forever
and we stood up
and stood by
and lived
and didn't let go..

because maybe there is a safe habour somewhere
a safe harbour we don't wanna leave..
but it's not worthwhile
if we let everything slip away..
for nothing passes,
into nothingness..
and it will come back
to us again
unescapable realities
will hit us time and again..
and we will face them because
we shall explore,
discover
and dream,
forever..
and we will hold what means to us..
and we will let it fly..
we will give wings..
but we won't let go..

25 things I want to do before I die..

so here goes, the 25 things I want to do before I die..

1. spend a day without lying at all
2. be able to hear all the music there is in this world..
3. learn how to play instruments, starting with a violin, guitar, tabla, drums, sitar.. lol everything!
4. stop being hypocritical
5. not be afraid of the cats in my college cafe and run away..
6. be in shape [mentally, physically, everything! haha]
7. get my dream home!
8. travel a LOT.. like every place there is in this world.. i wanna go ther!
9. light the pretty candles i have at home just once before i die.. [aren't candles for being lit?]
10. read everYyyy existing bOOk.. [lol ok thats a lot.. but life is taking away time to read.. wanna have a phase in my everyday life where i could peacefully read without having to worry about any pending work]
11. begin understanding people [i shall begin with myself there, :P]
12. kill varenya for tagging me, because i can think no more of things i want to do before i die.. haha
13. BUNGEE JUMPING!! yay .. [considering i fear heights, i wonder how this will ever come true haha] but u better not go without me rohit!
14. understand why girls are obsessed with trivial things that don't matter! haha
15. stop hiding precious things so nicely that i never find them again ..!
16. COOk!
17. have this unlimited supply of food .. of whatever food i want.. YUm! [i have always believed that life is too short to eat everything there is in this world]
18. write books, poetry..
19. direct a movie! [i mean it!]
20. learn to say no to people.. haha.. [always get myself in trouble]
21. fly a plane [totally random thought]
22. swim in a chocolate sea [remember Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-Roald Dalh?]
23. not feel guilty after everytime i shop
24. forgive [myself?]-- i don't know what that means..
anddddddd.. >>><<<
25. *live everyday of my life* :)